HOW TO TALK ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES

How to Chat Guide

We're frequently told of the importance of talking to each other and starting conversations about our mental health. And what better time to do this than Mental Health Awareness Week?! We've put together a 'How To Chat Guide' on how best to bring up the topic of mental health, and to give somebody a safe space where they feel able to talk.

When?

Firstly, it's important to know when to have the conversation. When spending time day-to-day with someone, pay attention to anything in them that might have changed recently. This can be personality-wise, their mood, or even if they are complaining of something physically. Below are some key changes that might show someone is starting to struggle with their mental health:

Physical

• Headaches

• Tense muscles

• Changes in appetite or eating habits

• Tiredness

Mood or behaviour 

• Becoming irritated quickly

• Feeling anxious

• Avoiding social events or interactions

• Nail biting or other anxiety-based habits

Cognitive *These can be harder to notice in others, but can still be picked up on*

• Increase in worrying

• Finding it difficult to make decisions

• Forgetfulness

If you notice some, or a number, of these things in someone else, it may be time to have a chat with them about how they are feeling.

How?

Initiating these kinds of conversations can feel daunting, especially if it isn't something you're used to, or feel comfortable doing. Start by making sure you're in the right environment for a conversation; this can vary depending on the person. Some may want to chat in private, others may feel less pressure in a busier place like a coffee shop. Also, try to pick an appropriate time. We may not be able to plan this exactly but catching someone when they're tired or rushing off to work won't be conducive to good conversation.

Below is a list of strategies to employ in a potentially sensitive conversation:

• Ask Open Questions: "How are you feeling?" as opposed to "Do you feel okay?" will give them the opportunity to speak more openly, and not shut the topic down too quickly.

• Give your full attention: While it's important to pick the right time for them to bring up the topic, it's also vital that you choose a time when you know you won't be distracted. Make sure they know that they have your full attention and that you are there to listen.

• Check understanding with their words: By repeating back what they have said to you about how they feel, you won't put words into their mouth, and you'll stay on the same page.

• Ask, don't advise: Ask someone what will be helpful to them instead of advising them what would help you if you felt a similar way.  It can feel patronising or even unhelpful to try to problem-solve when someone just wants a listening ear.

Whilst what you do is important, what you don't do is just as significant:

• Finding Comparisons: Often, we listen to someone talking and find ways to understand by drawing on our own experiences. Although this may seem helpful, it can often come across as though you're waiting for an opportunity to talk about yourself.

• Making Assumptions: Try not to jump to conclusions or assume the reasons someone is feeling the way they do. Let them tell you the full story in a non-judgmental way.

• Look for a diagnosis: Unless you're trained and qualified to officially diagnose someone, don't attempt to. Instead, work together to find some organisations that you can signpost them to who will be able to help.

• Attempt to fix the problem: Your ideal solution may be very different to theirs - so trying to fix the problem in the way you would want it to be handled might be counter-productive.

Remember, you just need to be an ear. 

You don't need to work yourself up to having these conversations or plan them meticulously. You just need to be a listening ear to someone and show them that you are there to help. No one is expecting you to have all the answers and solve the issues with one conversation - it is the starting point.Be sure to check out our social media accounts for more of our Mental Health Awareness Week campaign: Facebook & Instagram